Horse Racing Fantasy Community

Lunch in Ireland

Two Irishmen were in a bar on a Friday night discussing the following day's racing at the Curragh when one said to the other, "I have a tip on a horse called Lunch, tomorrow."
The two men soon parted and went their separate ways, each sporting a hangover. Next day, the man who got the tip couldn't remember the name of the horse. He felt so bad he went to the nearest bar for some booze. Desperately, he tried to remember the name of the tipped horse when he saw the bar notice board: "Lunch 12 to 1."
"That's it," he shouted, and went to the counter exclaiming, "I'll have 2000 pounds on Lunch at 12/1."
The bartender wouldn't have it and threw the Irishman out.
Undeterred, the fellow went to the next bar and spotted the same board: "Lunch 11 to 2."
"My God," shouted the Irishman, "Lunch has been backed." He went to the counter and asked for 400 pounds at 11/2.
Again, he was thrown out. So he tried the next bar. In he went and saw "Lunch 1 to 2."
"Damn," he muttered, "he's now the favorite. I can't back him at that price."
At precisely that moment, the waitress shouted through the hatch to the cook, "Sausages, one."
"Thank heavens he got beat," screamed the relieved Irishman.

The Daily Double

A man commemorating his 99th birthday visits the track and plays the 9-9 daily double. The 9-horse in the first race, an impossible 45-1 longshot, takes a six-length lead around the turn but begins tiring in the stretch. The favorite closes like a train in the stretch; he and the 9-horse hit the finish together. After a nailbiting 10-minute wait, the photo-finish camera shows that the 9-horse held on by a nose, paying $88.00. The excitement is too much for the elderly gentleman who collapses on the clubhouse floor, still holding his ticket in his hand.
A guard trained in CPR is there immediately, applying his knowledge to try to revive the elderly man. A crowd quickly surrounds the guard and the stricken bettor. "Is he alive?" asks someone in the crowd.
The guard looks at the man lying on the floor. Then he looks at the mutual ticket.
"Only in the double," he says.